When you stand on the shores of your own Red Sea
She stood on the bank of what appeared to be her own red sea. To go forward, would be hard no doubt. It would take work, dedication, and without a doubt a little bit of Divine Help. To stay put wasn’t an option, there was no doubt the rip tide would sweep in and drown her if she didn’t move. Turning back meant doing what she had always done, in one way being content but in another way living in fear of what the future may hold, afraid that she wouldn’t like the results and that there would be gnashing of teeth because she didn’t do something about it while she could have. She had always been a happy sort, confident and fearless in some ways, anxiety ridden in others but nothing out of the norm. She knew how she had gotten here, although as is often the case, it was a multitude of reasons and not just one. It was because she thought it couldn’t happen to her. It was because she made had made excuses day in and day out and had done not what she ought to do, but what she wanted to do. It was because life had dealt its hand not always kindly but not too harshly either. It was because, most of all she was comfortable. And let’s face it...it might’ve have had something to do with the fact that she looooovvvvvvved Dr. Pepper and donuts.
She wasn’t always this way
Ok so she always did love Dr. Pepper and donuts. But there was a time when she was consistent with working out. Isn’t it ironic that often times when we least need to workout, high school, our 20s and early 30s--is the the time we most feel like it. It seems like a cruel joke. She also had dieted frequently. You name it she did it… Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, low carb, intermittent fasting, shakes, the list seems endless. In fact, she lost the same 10 pounds so frequently that by the time she got to 40 is when she decided, “Forget it, I am going to live and let live and just work with what I’ve got.” Her plan was to age gracefully by wearing a chic caftan and FABULOUS jewelry.
If you haven’t figured out by now, the “she” in this story is about yours truly and my decision to get healthy. I don’t know why but one day recently a light switch flipped and I realized I was tired of the status quo. Oh I wasn’t tired of not being able to fit into a certain size, I have long gotten past that. But one day it dawned on me that if I got much bigger, I was going to have a hard time wiping my hiney. There I said it. I have known for weeks I was going to write this blog post and I wondered how I was going to say that eloquently. I don’t think you can. I thought about saying my appendages were growing shorter and it was getting harder to clean certain parts. But let’s face it is what it is, and everyone has their breaking point, and I just told you mine. It has also gotten difficult to put on my pantyhose. Yes, in winter I still wear them. I was starting to have issues with indigestion from time to time and I have been having trouble sleeping for several months. Oh the joys of aging.
I realized that I have two choices for this second act in life. I can either watch what I eat now and hopefully ward off some of the issues that come with getting older and reap the benefits that come along with exercising. Or I can wait, end up with health issues and still have to watch what I eat. Diabetes does run in my family and I know, without a Dr. even having to tell me, that unless I am careful I could easily wind up diabetic.
So there you have it
Now you know the reasons why… I didn’t suddenly abandon everything I have told you thus far. I just had an epiphany. An epiphany that I hope leads me to the promiseland. But I can honestly say, even if I don’t lose an ounce of weight, (and let me just say I hope that is not the case seeing the many hours of hard work I am putting in), I feel better knowing that I am doing what I can to make my future better. Sometimes effort really is enough. I hope that the effort will at least keep my spare tire from getting any bigger because let me tell you, the weight around the middle does make working out so much harder. I know where I was headed if I didn’t do something. Apparently past 40, some of us can’t just be happy with status quo, our bodies just won’t let us stay as is. It’s downhill or nothing and we have to at least apply the brakes.
I have joined a zumba class in addition to working out with my trainer and in the next few weeks I will be sharing my experiences. I am slow and miss every other step and literally one of only two white girls in the room. But none of that matters, as Brene Brown says, “I am in the ring.” I am showing up, I am giving it my all. I don’t want to lose weight just too look better… I want to be light on my feet again. I want to DANCE!